A Weird Life
by creator-of-digimon-beings
Summary: A comedy life after EW... even Heero gets a bit strange! R&R (I really suck at summaries)
1. Default Chapter

Happy Birthday A/N: Things happen, you know. Enjoy! " Nice party and hot girls!" Duo exclaimed while the girls in hula dresses surrounded him. Hilde slapped him. " Common babe!" Duo clamored, " You know I love you only!" " Thanks for coming, Duo and Hilde." Quatre said with a smile and led them to where the others were. " Would you please leave my guy alone?!" Hilde yelled at the girls. " Jealous, babe?" Duo smirked. Hilde slapped him again. " Ouch!" ********************** " Hey buddy!" Duo said as he walked over and hugged Heero. " Get lost." Heero demanded. Then Duo walked over to Relena and gave her a kiss. (Heero looked furious but was he? Yes, he was.) First the hug, now he tries to steal my girl, Heero thought, he is going to die. Heero pointed a gun at Duo. (Uh oh!) " Ahh, have mercy!" Duo acted, " I beg for forgiveness!" Relena went over and kissed Heero. (o_O) " Oh, you are so cute!" Relena whispered in his ear. That made Heero blushes pinkish-red and put the gun down. " Happy birthday, Quatre!" Trowa screamed. " Happy birthday to you. you are a hundred and two." Duo sang out loud, " You smell like a donkey. and belong to the zoo!" ******************* " It looks like it's gonna storm." Quatre said, " You guys should stay over." Everyone agreed. It's gonna be a long night! A/N: R&R I luv flames!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Nice Body

Nice Body A/N: Guess what happens? Read and find out! Enjoy! Later That Night. Heero whistled to himself. This is my room, Heero thought as he walked in. In the room, Relena was naked. " Ahhhhhhhhhhh, perv!!!" Relena screamed. " Ahhhhhhhhhhh, sorry!!!" Heero screamed. " Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" " Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Everyone in the estate heard the yelling and ran into the room to see what's wrong. " Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" " Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Relena fainted. After a few more Ahhhhhhh's, everyone left Relena in silence except Heero. " Heero?" Relena whispered. " Relena, shhh." Heero whispered back. By accident Heero cupped his hands over her breasts and pushed them in. " Ouch!" Relena shouted. " First you spy on me and now you are trying to touch me in inappropriate places!" Relena shrieked, " What's your problem freak, creep, monster!" Relena hits Heero with the pillow. " Oww!" " Idiot!" " Sorry, oww!" " Get lost, loser!" Heero ran out of the door. ***************************** Get this: Trowa is in the shower. He is just finished and he's going to get dressed. Quatre wanted a shower. Quatre walked in on Trowa when he just got out of the shower. This is when the story starts. " Ahhhhhh, I mean, hi!" Quatre said nervously looking at bare Trowa. " Hi Quatre!" Trowa said without worrying that he is naked, " the water's great!" " Y-yeah th-thanks, I'm gonna. gonna g-g-go now." Quatre stammered. " What's wrong with you?" Trowa asked. " N-nothing!" " It's not like you don't have this, you know!" Trowa said pointing to his thing. Quatre ran out the door leaving Trowa confused. What's his problem, Trowa thought. TBC. . . A/N: If you don't know what the thing is, email me at megabots_megabee@hotmail.com I know I spelled it wrong and I know, weird email address but deal with it! Okay? R&R I luv flames!!!!!!!! (u should know that by now!) :p 


	3. SS

S.S *Sick Situation* A/N: A crazy night!!!!!!!! R&R U JUST GOTTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
MIDNIGHT I must apologize to Relena, Heero thought as he knocked on her door. " Come in!" Relena called from the inside. Heero opened the door, walked in and shut the door. " H-hee-." Relena spluttered but was cut of by a gentle kiss. " Relena, I'm so sorry about this evening." Heero said, " I thought your room was mine, please forgive me." After Relena recovered from the sudden shock, she answered, " Heero, I forgive you." Both eyes met and well, you know what that means. They were kissing and kissing. Both of them slowly put their tongue in each other's mouth. Both of them slip each other's shirt of one by one. (Well, you can continue this part yourselves, I'm going to another part.) Quatre was walking towards his room for good night sleep but something caught his eyes. Trowa was dressing and then turned his head around with his naked body faced Quatre's eyes. " Quatre, hi, may I ask you a question?" Trowa asked. " Most certainly, you may." Quatre answered. " Okay, good, are you gay?" A/N: o_0, is Quatre gay? 


	4. A Learning From Duo

A/N: I decided not to continue but I' m so bored!!!! This keeps me awake so. Special thanks to Starheart for reviewing. Finally someone that review!!!! R&R ppl!!! I LUV FLAMES!!!!!!!!!! NO DUH PPL!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I wish I did.  
  
A Learning From Duo (scary)  
  
Maxwell, Winner, I need to ask you guys something." Heero said to his friends. " Sure, what's the problem, Mr. I-AM-A-GUY-WHO-BONKS-DA-DAYLIGHTS-OUT-OFF- RELENA?" Duo replied with a smirk. Heero glares at Duo with raging fire in his eyes. " Heero, mind him." Quatre commented. " I want to take Relena on a date, a romantic one," Heero stated. " Trying to make a good impression so you can hop in bed with her after?" Duo questioned.  
  
" Maybe"  
  
" You need to arrive with her favourite flowers and a box very expensive chocolate to make it easy to persuade her to go on a date with you. Then you help her pick out a dress and oh, sound like you're interested! You'll make wonderful comments on how she looks and stuff like you smell so good and others. That'll make her get the hots for you. You'll help her to the car like you're helping her to a carriage. You'll take her to the best restaurant you can find. That'll make her think you're not cheap. You'll offer to pour her wine like real gentlemen. You'll start a delightful conversation, which by the way, you're not very good at. Flirt a little for good measures at the end of the night. You'll follow on what she likes and keep complimenting her. Then you'll take her to the movies. You have to let her choose even if she picks one of those puppy love ones. Wrap your arm around her shoulder and pull her inch by inch tight against your body. At the end of the night, you'll walk her to her room and insist (more like beg) on a goodnight kiss. Remember the sweet compliments." Heero and Quatre just stares at Duo blankly trying to get their brain to sort out all the things he just said. " Duo, how do you know these stuff?" Quatre asked surprisingly. " How do you think I got Hilde to sleep with me?" Duo grinned. " I don't get it" was all that Heero could say still trying to figure out the speech Duo gave. " For a guy who mastered the Zero System, you're not very smart" Duo observed, " the whole point is to look good so you get her in bed!" " Okay, are you sure that's gonna work?" Heero asked not so surely. " Trust me, Mr. I-MASTERED-THE-ZERO-SYSTEM-BUT-CAN'T-SET-A-DATE!" " Shut up Duo!" Heero yelled. " All you have to do is wear this earphone and say exactly what I say." "Exactly?" Heero asked a little scared. " Exactly Mr. I-WILL-DO-EVERYTHING-TO-GET-RELENA-IN-BED" Duo instructed, "every word not one syllable missing got it?" " Yah"  
  
TBC. .  
  
A/N: Read the next chapter to find out what happen on the date. Stay tune! R&R!!!!!!!!!!! I LUV FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	5. The Perfect Date 1

A/N: The date!!!!!!!!! R&R PLZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! Totally accepting flames!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I want to though.  
  
The Worst Perfect Date Part 1  
  
Heero faced Relena's door nervously with ideas flowing around his head. Duo on the other hand was getting bored of the waiting so he turned on the TV to the porn channel. Heero finally got his confidence back and decides to knock before his confidence knocks dead again.  
  
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Relena who had just gotten out of the shower dressed in a pink fluffy robe heard knocking on her door.  
  
" Heero, what are you doing here?" Relena asked tensely embarrassed that she was only dressed in a robe. Heero who blankly stared at the figure before him holding a bouquet of roses quickly mumbled " Relena, will you go on a date with me?" Relena was surprised at Heero and took the bouquet while saying " sure, just let me get dressed."  
  
" I'm ready." Relena said as she came out of her room wearing a purple t- shirt and white jeans. " Damn you're sexy!" Duo exclaimed as he watches live girl on girl action, " You go babe!" " Damn you're sexy, you go babe!" Heero grinned as he copied what Duo had said. Relena felt a little bit uneasy of what Heero had said, maybe he was trying to make an impression, Relena thought.  
  
Heero led Relena to his black Mercedes. He remembered to open the door for her. " We're gonna have a lot of fun!" Duo smirked at the TV. " We're gonna have a lot of fun!" Heero chuckled.  
  
All through dinner, Heero was making inappropriate comments about Relena's ass and all her other parts of her body which made Relena felt humiliated. Does he think I'm a porn machine, Relena thought, does he see me as those girls who you know what? " I'm getting hot, let me take off my shirt." Duo said to himself watching the hot actions. " I'm getting hot, let me take off my shirt." Heero repeated Duo. Relena urged Heero not to because that would make the date more miserable. This is so humiliating, Relena thought. Relena looks really upset, Heero thought to himself, what am I doing wrong?  
  
TBC. .  
  
A/N: This is part one next chapter is part two so stay tuned!!! PLZ R&R!!!!!!!!! Totally accepting flames!!!!!!!!!! 


	6. The Perfect Date 2

A/N: Part 2!!!!!! I just felt like splitting the date into 2 chapters ( R&R and FLAME!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, Sunrise does.  
  
The Worst Perfect Date Part 2  
  
" I was thinking about going to the movies." Heero mentioned after dinner, " how bout it?" " I'm really tired and tomorrow's a big day for me so can we go home?" Relena requested. " Tomorrow's Sunday which means you're totally free." Heero informed, " please Relena, you can choose the movie." " Fine Heero but after, we're going home." Relena demanded. " Fine"  
  
Relena chose a romance movie. Heero wanted to complain but he remembered what Duo said.  
  
Heero pulled Relena closer to him inch by inch hoping that she would not notice at what he's doing. Relena realized that Heero was pulling her closer to him. " Heero, what are you doing?" Relena asked nervously. " I wanna lick you!" Duo exclaimed as he stares at the TV. " I wanna lick you!" Heero exclaimed. " Heero." " I like it!" Duo squealed, he had totally forgotten about the earphone and Heero. " I like it!" Heero grinned. " Heero, I want to go home." Relena demanded. " But." Heero argued. " No buts, just take me home."  
  
Heero drove back to the Winner's mansion. Heero accompanied Relena to her room. " Heero, are you okay?" Relena asked. " I'm horny!" Duo exclaimed, " I know you want me so go take a bite!" " I'm horny!" Heero exclaimed, " I know you want me so go take a bite!" " Heero, you're talking crazy!" " You're my honey dip!" Duo expressed, " you blow my mind!" " You're my honey dip!" Heero copied, " you blow my mind!" " Heero stop it, leave me alone!" What am I doing wrong, Heero wondered, it seems I'm really hurting her.  
  
Hilde came into the room and caught Duo watching porn again. " Duo!" Hilde shouted, " you promise me not to watch porn!" Duo looked away from the TV and saw a very angry Hilde, said " sorry babe, give me one more chance."  
  
" Sorry babe, give me one more chance." Heero begged. " Heero, you really hurt me." Relena started.  
  
" Duo, I keep on giving you chances" Hilde declared, " you have to keep your promise!" " I know, I know" Duo admitted, " I'm asking you this once, please forgive me! I don't know what I'll do if we ever break up. You're the only woman I love. Please babe, I'm so sorry. I love you." " Fine Maxwell" Hilde exaggerated, " just this once!" Duo smiled and turns off the TV. He walked over to Hilde and picks her up. " How about you and I go WEE WEE in bed?" Duo asked.  
  
" I know, I know" Heero admitted, " I'm asking you this once, please forgive me! I don't know what I'll do if we ever break up. You're the only woman I love. Please babe, I'm so sorry. I love you." Relena gazed at Heero, he's so gorgeous, she thought. " Alright Heero, I forgive you." Relena said quietly, " but next time mister, you won't be so lucky!" " Okay." " You wanna come in?" Relena asked as she opened her door to invite Heero in. " Sure"  
  
TBC. .  
  
A/N: You don't have to be a genius to figure out what Relena and Heero would be doing all night! NO DUH!!!!!!!!! R&R ( and flame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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